Men and Women discoveries

Dec 06 2009

Men and Women discoveries

Men discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,

Women discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.



Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,

Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.



Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,

Women discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.



Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,

Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.



Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,

Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.



Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,

Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.



Thereafter Men have discovered and invented a lot of things…
While Women STUCK to shopping.

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Glimpses of Chindian Quotes

R factor

W factor

A factor


C-factor (Limited to AP Politics)

This quote is sole property of Chindian Quotes,Inc.
All part of these quotes (except this quote's link) should not be reproduced, stored, or transmitted,
in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in written or in e-mail.
Copyright © 2005-2009. All rights reserved.
Chindian ( truly an Indian)
"Chindian Quotes" is a pen name and service mark of Chindian Quotes,Inc.

~Chindian Quotes

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Men-Women (50-50)

Oct 09 2009

Men-Women (50-50)

WOMAN has MAN in it .

SHE has HE in it.

Mrs. has Mr. in it.

LADY has LAD in it.

MISTERESS has MISTER in it.

MADAM has ADAM in it.

HOSTESS has HOST in it.

FEMALE has MALE in it

......and so on the list is never ending

This tells

Men /Women are always incomplete without Women/Men

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Humal beings

Chindian's combo rule (New English grammar rule)

SoQ (Social Quotient)

Personality&Character

Save and Spend

Leader

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About Girlfriend

If you are well dressed,
She thinks you are play boy.
If you are not,
She thinks you are a begger.

If you kiss her,
She thinks you r not a gentleman.
If you don't,
She thinks you are not a man.

If you praise her,
She thinks you are a lier.
If u don't she thinks,
You are good for nothing.

If you visit her often,
She thinks u are boring.
If you don't she accuses,
You for double crossing.

If u visit another girl,
She accuses you for being cheat.
If she is visited by another guy,
She says "oh..! its natural! we are girls..!

If you propose love within a brief time ,
You are a freash guy.
If you propose love later ,
She wonders why

If you are jealous,
She says its bad.
If your not she doubts ,
Your love and is not glad.

If you attempt romance,.
She thinks you don't respect her.
If you don't ,
She thinks you don't like her.

If you listen ,
She wants to talk .
If you wanna talk ,
She also wants to talk.

THE COMPUTER PROGRAMMER

THE COMPUTER PROGRAMMER:

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero."

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week."

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked,

"What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want.

Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

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Good example about the Loop

What a loop...

Boss to Secartery;

for a week We'll go abroad.

She calls her husband;

for a week I & boss are going abroad.

Husband calls Girlfiernd;

Wife going, Lets enjoy.

Girlfriend calls her student;

for a week you are free.

Little boy calls his grandpa;

I'm free.

Grandpa (boss) calls Secartery;

Tour Cancelled, I'm with my grandson this week.

Secartery calls her husband;

Tour canceld.

Husband calls Girl friend;

Wife is not going.

Girlfriend calls boy;

This week your class as usual.

Boy calls grandpa;

Sorry I have to attned my class.

Grandpa calls Secaretry;

We are going abroad.

its a loop there now ;-)

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Why only Indians are Re-born (funny)

Why only Indians are Re-born?

Mystery solved!

The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said `I have to talk to you. We have some Indians up here in heaven and they are causing problems. They`re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes and BMW`s instead of the chariots, and they`re selling their halos to people for discounted prices. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep c rouching down midway eating samosas and drinking chai (tea). Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!`

The Lord said, `Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.`

Satan answered the phone, `Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.` Satan returned to the phone, `OK I`m back. What can I do for you?`

Gabriel replied, `I just wanted to know what kind of problems you`re having down there.`

Satan says, `Hold on again. I need to check on something.`

After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, `I`m back. Now what was the question?`

Gabriel said, `What kind of problems are you having down there?`

Satan says, `Man I don`t believe this .. Hold on.`

This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, "I`m sorry Gabriel, I can`t talk right now.. These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire..fire is there to keep them uncomfortably hot!! Since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone connection between heaven and hell..I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! Some were trying to start a chai - pakora shop, which I had to stop..I am requesting Lord to send them back on earth as soon as they arrive as re-birth".

Indians will be Indians..

So this is the story why Indians are re-born!!!


~Chindian

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Gods-creation-and-Humans-creation

kissing and slap

Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Jayalalitha are travelling in a train.

The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap.
The train comes out of the tunnel.

Jayalalitha and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed.
Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Jayalalitha is thinking: -These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.
Madhuri is thinking: -Musharaf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Jayalalitha instead and got slapped.
Musharraf is thinking: -Damn it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped me.
Vajpayee is thinking: -If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again

~Chindian

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luloo and pig

One day Luloo was traveling by car. He was going

to a village for campaigning . Suddenly a piglet came before
the car. The driver couldn't hit the brake at the right time
and unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident . At
the sight Luloo was deeply moved and felt very upset He called
the driver and said ,"Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan
dena chahta hoon . Usko dhundke lav ".

At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came
back after some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands
around his neck and lots of money in his hands!!!

Luloo was surprised . He asked ,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss
aadmi ko laiye , aur tum aise wapas aaye ho!
baat kya hai?"

At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident .
Hearing it they were rejoiced , put tilak and garlands on me,
then danced for some time and gave this money."

Luloo then asked him "Aap unko egjactly kaa bole?"

The driver replied :
"Main bola, MAIN Luloo Prasad Yadav KA DRIVER HOON,
MAINE SUAAR KE BACHHE KO MAR DALA HAI.........."

You mast see Tennis open secret

~Chindian

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known and unknown

Biggest Mystery of Maths:

1000s of years passed,

Millions of theorems derived,

Crores of formulae made,

But still..




X is unknown!!



XXX is well known!!

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Fianl decision

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and lallu Prasad Yadav were

travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of

them died.

judge was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.

He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.

But, for lallu, Judge had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.

lallu is not at all happy with this decision.

He asks Judge as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of

them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public

positions, etc.

Then why the differential treatment?

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before

a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived

notions.

Judge agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English

test.

PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA" and he does it correctly.

Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND" and he too passes.

It is lallu's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA".

lallu protests that he doesn't know English.

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus

forced to fail with false intent.

Judge then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance

assuming that lallu should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal

platform for all three).

PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and

passes.

Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.

lallu is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."

Tough one. He fails again.

lallu is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now

requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history

Judge says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take

any more tests.

PVNR is asked: "When did Indiaget Independence?". He replied "1947" and

passed.

Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?".

He gets nervous. Judge asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000

or 300,000.

Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.

It's lallu's turn now.

'

'

'

'

'

'

''

'

'

'

''

'

'

'

'

'

'

'

'

'

'

'

'

Judge asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died

in the struggle.

lallu accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE..... ...:-)

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Mr.Medhavi Telugu movie

Investment Philosophy - I

Satyam's Raju next career

Qualification to become a Politician

Investment Philosophy - III

Innocent and Adolescent curiosity

~Chindian

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Religion Conversion

Jun 06 2009

Religion Conversion (interesting)

Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.



The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, “You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic.”



Santa’s neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived. The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.



There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: “Oye, you was born as a chicken, and you was born as a lamb, you was raised as a chicken, and you was raised as a lamb but now yara(dear), you are a potato and tomato!”

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Mr.Medhavi Telugu movie

Investment Philosophy - I

Satyam's Raju next career

Qualification to become a Politician

Investment Philosophy - III

Innocent and Adolescent curiosity

~Chindian

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WHO PUSHED ME?

WHO PUSHED ME?

There was a wealthy man who wanted to choose a husband for his only daughter. One day he invited the eligible young men from the whole town. During the occasion, when everyone was present he made an announcement, “Today, I am going to choose a husband for my daughter.

Anyone who can swim across this pool can have my daughter’s hand in marriage and inherit half of my wealth. The only challenge is that the pool is full of alligators.”

With that announcement everyone present was silent. Suddenly, there was a loud splash, and in a matter of seconds a young man swam across the pool to the other side. Everybody cheered at the heroic feat of the young man. The wealthy man walked towards the young man and congratulated him.

The young man said, “Sir, I am not interested in marrying your daughter. What I want to know is the name of the person who pushed me into the pool?”

SUCCESS PRINCIPLES

There are various types of motivation, and the one that is related to the above story is “fear” motivation.

Sometimes, to bring out the best in us or in others, we have to use fear motivation. We have potentials within us but we need to stir it up with motivation and inspiration. However, fear motivation will only work in the short term, because people will get accustomed to it in the long run.

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable."

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Nokia Secret Codes

*#06# for checking the IMEI (International Mobile Equipment Identity).
*#7780# reset to factory settings.
*#67705646# This will clear the LCD display(operator logo).
*#0000# To view software version.
*#2820# Bluetooth device address.
*#746025625# Sim clock allowed status.
#pw+1234567890+1# Shows if sim have restrictions.
*#92702689# - takes you to a secret menu where you may find some of the information below:
1. Displays Serial Number.
2. Displays the Month and Year of Manufacture
3. Displays (if there) the date where the phone was purchased (MMYY)
4. Displays the date of the last repair - if found (0000)
5. Shows life timer of phone (time passes since last start)
*#3370# - Enhanced Full Rate Codec (EFR) activation. Increase signal strength, better signal reception. It also help if u want to use GPRS and the service is not responding or too slow. Phone battery will drain faster though.
*#3370* - (EFR) deactivation. Phone will automatically restart. Increase battery life by 30% because phone receives less signal from network.
*#4720# - Half Rate Codec activation.
*#4720* - Half Rate Codec deactivation. The phone will automatically restart.

If you forgot wallet code for Nokia S60 phone, use this code reset: *#7370925538#
Note, your data in the wallet will be erased. Phone will ask you the lock code. Default lock code is: 12345
Press *#3925538# to delete the contents and code of wallet.
Unlock service provider: Insert sim, turn phone on and press vol up(arrow keys) for 3 seconds, should say pin code. Press C,then press * message should flash, press * again and 04*pin*pin*pin# \
*#7328748263373738# resets security code.
Default security code is 12345
Change closed caller group (settings >security settings>user groups) to 00000 and ure phone will sound the message tone when you are near a radar speed trap. Setting it to 500 will cause your phone 2 set off security alarms at shop exits, gr8 for practical jokes! (works with some of the Nokia phones.) Press and hold "0" on the main screen to open wap browser.

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About a Soldier

... At the time of being commissioned or enrolled, yes the age is about 19.. But the average age of men in the military might be closer to 30. Regardless, the sentiments expressed are quite true .....

The average age of the army man is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's, but he has never collected unemployment dole either.

He's a recent school/college graduate; he was probably an average student from one of the Kendriya Vidyalayas, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away.
He listens to rock and roll or hip -hop or country or gazals or swing and a 155mm howitzer.

He is 5 or 7 kilos lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting the insurgents or standing guard on the icy Himalayas from before dawn to well after dusk or he is at Mumbai engaging the terrorists.
He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark.
He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must.

He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional.
He can march until he is told to stop, or stop until he is told to march.
He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity.
His pride and self-respect, he does not lack. He is self-sufficient.

He has two sets of combat dress: he washes one and wears the other.
He keeps his water bottle full and his feet dry.
He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle.
He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts.

If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low.

He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands.

He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job.

He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay, and still find ironic humor in it all.

He has seen more suffering and death than he should have in his short lifetime.
He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed.

He feels every note of the Jana Gana Mana vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hands from their pockets, or even stop talking.In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy.

He is your nation's Fighting Man that has kept this country free and defended your right to Freedom. He has experienced deprivation and adversity, and has seen his buddies falling to bullets and maimed and blown.But, he has asked nothing in return, except our acknowledgement of his existence and understanding of his human needs.Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood.And now we even have women over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so.

As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot. . ..

A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets.

Prayer wheel for our military.... Please send this on after a short prayer.

Prayer Wheel :

'Lord, hold our Indian Army in your loving hands.
Protect them as they protect us.
Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform
for us in our time of need. Amen.'

When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer
for our soldiers, sailors , and airmen , in all frontiers
There is nothing attached...
This can be very powerful...
Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, Sailor, or Airman,
prayer is the very best one.

Pray for the Indian Soldier. Unlike your 'Babus' or 'Netas' He will always do you proud.

~Anonymous author

Variety Maths

EXCLUSIVELY FOR ENGINEERING STUDENTS


Q: We know that 2/10=0.2 but Prove that 2/10=2

Ans : Normal college students insist Question is "OUT of Syllabus". but

Engineering Students replied:

2=two,
10=ten.

therefore Two/Ten = Two/Ten = wo/en.

w=23,
o=15,
e=5,
n=14.

therefore

w+o=23+15=38 & e+n=5+14=19

Therefore wo/en=38/19=2. Hence Proved

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How Men Change

How Men Change !

The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?

Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?

Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!

Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??

New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?

TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!

Making Love:
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!!




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Chandrababuijam

Chandrababuijam
You have two cows in Vijayawada . You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad .

Jayalalithaijam

You have two cows. You teach them to cry,"Ammaaaaaaa..."

and fall at your feet.

Karunanidhiijam

You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew.

.

Gandhijam

You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

Indiraijam

You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

Lalooijam

You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.

Rajnikantijam

You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

Sardarijam

You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

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Human Monkeys

Hints

Kindness of God

Being extremely happy

Believe

Profitable Sectors

~Chindian

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