Indian films

Common story in well playing Indian film

click on the image to see with good resolution
For most of the Films story is build on this theme
:-)

Few leaders

How world's biggest politicians
looked in their early years

Winston Churchill

Adolf Hitler

Vladimir Putin

Yasser Arafat

George W. Bush

Fidel Castro

Che Guevara

.

Chirac

it's me, waiting for 40+ years to complete for my second photo

http://chindianjokes.blogspot.com/2008/04/nature-vs-nature.html

Hutch is now Vodafone

Hutch is now Vodafone

Then what about Hutch Dog?

Never love your company, love your job, you never know when your company stop loving you.

They didn't eat Dog biscuits, I don't have any value for me :-(

What is True

X+man = Woman

WOMAN has MAN in it .

SHE has HE in it.

Mrs. Has Mr. In it.

LADY has LAD in it.

MISTERESS has MISTER in it.

MADAM has ADAM in it.

HOSTESS has HOST in it.

FEMALE has MALE in it

......and so on the list is never ending

SO NO need to be proud ....Girls

YOU are always incomplete without Boys....

एन्जॉय थे ग्रेट वीक एंड

China Dragon

Whole World afraid by Seeing China

Photos took in a Job-Fair in China


































growing Population is the most dangerous threat to the World

Nice chance to take Revenge

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog.

Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it? "

The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife. "

What happened to her? " !

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her. "

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also. "

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog? "

The man replied "Join the queue."

Don't lose your Moblie phone

Once in a mens locker room of a golf course a mobile rang, every body stopped to listen. the man picked up the phone and on line was a lady "Darling i saw a very beautiful drees Its only for Rs 50,000 can i buy it?"

Man: sure darling

Lady: and i saw a very elegant gold set for a lakh...
Man: buy it sweetheart

Lady: and a decorative painting for our room how about that only 75,000?
Man: of course

Lady: thankyou, i love you!

Everyone in locker started staring at the man, after sometime the man Shouted "Does anyone knows the owner of this phone?"

Wanna Apply for leave

hELलो

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in
various places of India...


Infosys, Bangalore:

An employee applied for leave as follows:

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please
sanction me one-week leave.

**************************************************************************

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not
return, please grant me half day casual leave"

**************************************************************************

A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am
suffering from headache. I request you to

leave me today"

**************************************************************************

An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare
one day holiday."

**************************************************************************
Another leave letter written to the headmaster: As my headache is
paining, please grant me leave for the day.

**************************************************************************

Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

**************************************************************************

Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to
my below..."

**************************************************************************

From H.A.L. Administration dept: As my mother-in-law has expired and I
am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.

**************************************************************************

Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering
from sickness and as I am her only husband at home,I may be granted leave".

**************************************************************************

Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same
well."

**************************************************************************
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing
his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

**************************************************************************
This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the
"mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
**************************************************************************
A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement
calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both! for the past several years and I can handle
both, I am applying for the post.

Indian Jokes,Inc. Copyright © 2005-2007. All rights reserved.
"Indian" is a registered trademark and service mark of Chindian Jokes,Inc.

Chindian Jokes,Inc

All part of these jokes definitely reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing or in mail, not forwarding this mail to your friends is injurious to your health and their health

for more jokes like this please see this blog http://chindian-jokes.blogspot.com/

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What is this ?

What is this ?

Love or Friendship????

WhAT yOU sAY









for pure Jokes visit
http://chindian-jokes.blogspot.com/2007/10/cricket-fever-in-india-and-its-remedy.html

Indian Jokes,Inc. Copyright © 2005-2007. All rights reserved.
"Indian" is a registered trademark and service mark of Chindian Jokes,Inc.

Chindian Jokes,Inc

All part of these jokes definitely reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing or in mail, not forwarding this mail to your friends is injurious to your health and their health

for more jokes like this please see this blog http://chindian-jokes.blogspot.com/

PS:- These Jokes are created by the owner, not coped from any where

http://www.mginger.com/index.jsp?inviteId=225134

New Generation Saying

Here goes a wise saying...............

" If your father is a poor man, its not your fault

But

If your father-in-Law is a poor man, it's definitely your fault"

Here is a faultless couple.............





(Javed Miandad's son and his wife (Dawood Ibrahim's Daughter).........
Really_See this link


All that Glitters is Definitely Gold

Don't bother about your Father-in-law's profession :-)

Job in IT

Difference

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"

Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "

Trainee: "Yes I do"

Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"

Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation

**********
In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.

In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.

**********
In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.

In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.

**********

During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.

During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.

**********

There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.

There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.

**********

Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign ... !!!"

**********

Girlfriend

A young lady is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.

She says: ''You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14.
When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you''

The boyfriend says: ''Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?''

"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?''

Note:- Don't forget to see Videos

Women in view of a mathematician

Preist Vs Devotion

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?"

But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"

To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Next :-

Moral: The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

For Example: Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation?!?

Pure IT love letter

Dear Ms.


Baby, I saw you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and
realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time,
I've been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can be a real
debugger for me now. My life is just an uncompilable program without you that
never produces an executable code and hence is useless.

You not only have a beautiful face, but all your Active-x controls are
attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful that it encourages me and
gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power. When you
looked at me last evening, I felt all my program modules running smoothly
and giving expected results, which I have never experienced before.

With this letter, I just want to convey that, if we linked together, I'll
provide you with all the objects and libraries necessary for a human being
to live an error free life. Also don't bother about the firewall, which may
be created by our parents as I've strong hacking capabilities by which I'll
ultimately break their security passwords and make them accept our marriage.

I anticipate that nobody is already logged into your database so that my
connect script would fail. And it's all certain that if this happened to me,
I will crash my system beyond recovery. Kindly interpret this letter
properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox.

Only yours,
Software Professional.

cities in India

How to identify cities in India ?

Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and They start arguing about who's right.

You are in Kolkata

Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.

That's Mumbai

Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace.The first two get together & beat him up.

That's Delhi

Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along And quietly opens a chai-stall

That's Ahmedabad.

Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software Program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program.

That's Bengaluru (Bangalore)

Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along And quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace
Comes in.

That's Chennai.

Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer. All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home being friends.

You are in Goa

Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their Friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.

You are in Hyderabad.

Do you have time to Read?

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
Student is silent.

Prof: You can't answer, can you?
Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?
Student: Yes..

Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?
Student does not answer.

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?
Student has no answer.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Now the student said can I ask something to you Professor.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.


Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive. .

WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS?



http://chindianjokes.blogspot.com/2007/10/secret-of-my-fitness.html