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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Logical Thoughts

SOME LOGICIAL THOUGHTS and STATEMENTS


Whenever you find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

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To Err is human, but to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

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The road to success??.. Is always under construction.

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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

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In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you have ability to repay back.

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All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

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Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

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Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

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If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

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You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

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Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

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42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.

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As soon as you mention something?? If it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.

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He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

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If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? The bus is still late.

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Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

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When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

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If you have paper, you don't have a pen. If you have a pen, you don't have paper. If you have both, no one calls.

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Especially for engg. Students : If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

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You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

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The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

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After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

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If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

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Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

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Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.

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There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

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An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

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Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

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Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

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When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

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Well done is better than well said .

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Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

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Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY, Where there is MONEY, there are many WAYS.

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Where there is MONEY, there are many FRIENDS and RELATIVES.

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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.


~Chindian

PlayGames&SendSMS@Earn_Money --> mGinger.com

http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/08/boy-friend-philosophy.html

Monday, August 25, 2008

Letter to Microsoft

Subject: Problems with my new computer


Dear Mr.
Bill Gates,


We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,which I want to bring to your notice.


1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this..




2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to
'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.



3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.


4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was
unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.


5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?


6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining
items?


7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.


8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.



9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?


10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my
office hours.

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?


Regards,


Banta Singh

~Chindian

http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/08/boy-friend-philosophy.html

PlayGames&SendSMS@Earn_Money --> mGinger.com

Guess these two boys




Guess who they are….
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They are just two school going Kids - Appu and Pappu

Please continue with ur work ;-)

~Chindian

http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/08/boy-friend-philosophy.html

PlayGames&SendSMS@Earn_Money --> mGinger.com

Monday, August 11, 2008

Management_HR_Employee_Relation



~Chindian

http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/09/celebrity_katrina.html

PlayGames&SendSMS@Earn_Money --> mGinger.com


Poem of the year 2007

This was nominated 'poem of 2007' for the best
Poem, written by an African kid.........amazing thought!!!


When I born, I Black,
When I grow up, I Black,
When I go in Sun, I Black,
When I scared, I Black,
When I sick, I Black,

And when I die, I still black

And you White fella,
When you born, you Pink,
When you grow up, you White,
When you go in Sun, you Red,
When you cold, you Blue,
When you scared, you Yellow,
When you sick, you Green,

And when you die, you Gray..
And you calling me Colored ??



~Chindian

http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/09/celebrity_katrina.html

PlayGames&SendSMS@Earn_Money --> mGinger.com


Thursday, August 7, 2008

Management policies

8 monkeys v/s management policies

(This is based on an actual experiment conducted in U.K.)

*Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder,

leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.
***

*Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.
***

*Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.
***

*One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a

new monkey is put in the

room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders

why none of the other

monkeys are doing the obvious. But undaunted, he

immediately begins to climb

the ladder.
***

*All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him

silly. He has no idea why.

However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.
***

*A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.
***

*One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will
enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.
***

*This is how any company's policies get Establish.

~Chindian

http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/07/costly.html

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Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Heights

1. What is height of Fashion?

A. Dhoti with a zip .

************ **

2. What is height of Secrecy?

A. Offering blank visiting cards.

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3. What is height of Active laziness?

A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

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4. What is height of Craziness?

A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?

A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

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6. What is height of Stupidity?

A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

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7. What is height of Honesty?

A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

*******

8. What is height of Suicide?

A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

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9. What is height of De-hydration?

A. A cow giving milk powder.

****
10.
What is height of Foolishness?
A. Casting our Vote to the Politicians after listening to their Election promises.


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