Very Important : For those who work on Computer
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Friday, December 19, 2008
Avoid RSI Syndrome or Pains due to Computer
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Cultural differences in - East to West... (Nice)
Understanding of Asian culture vs. Western..... Interesting research. It also applies to all Asians, including the Indians, Japanese, Thais, Koreans, Indonesian, Malays, Dayaks, etc ... Red --> Asian
Way of Life Punctuality Contacts Anger Queue when Waiting
Travelling Three meals a day
Elderly in day to day life
The Boss
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~Chindian
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http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/10/monopoly-to-oligopoly.html
Titanic in India
1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship
2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain
3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"
4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die on the first dip
5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson
6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.
And last but not least
7) Half of the rescue boats would be reserved for SC/ST/OBC
Thursday, October 16, 2008
How The Stock Market Works
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.
He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'
The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!
http://chindianquotes.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
20 Rules in any office
20 Rules in any office
1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.
2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6.. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it...
12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
13.. Following the rules will not get the job done.
14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Our Governance System
As a daily habit, the 10-year Old Pintu was reading newspaper.
Suddenly he asked his father, " Dad! What does it mean by 'Governance
System' ? "
" Its Like...", father said while thinking, " See! I earn and bring money
to home, mean's I am a 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how
to spend that money and that means she is 'Government'. That maid in our
home is doing all the household works, so she will be 'Labour Class'. You
are a 'Common man' or 'Public'. Your kid brother is 'Future' or the 'Next
Generation', understand?".
That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts. In the middle of the night
he woke-up because his kid brother was crying. He wetted the matrices so
he was crying. Pintu went to woke-up his mother. She was in deep sleep so
Pintu went to the Maiden's room to wake her up. But there his father
was sleeping with the maid. So he came back with frustration.
Next morning father asked Pintu, " Hey Pintu Darling! You understood the
'Governance System'? ".
Pintu replied, " Yeah Dad, I understood! When money Holder is exploiting
Labour Class, our Government is sleeping. Future of our nation is crying
for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man is
suffering!"
http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/09/zero-mania-in-human-beings.html
PlayGames&SendSMS@Earn_Money --> www.mGinger.com
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Legal and Logical
After having failed his exam in 'Logistics and Organization', a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: 'Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?'
Professor: 'Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!'
Student: 'Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.
If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an 'A' for the exam. '
Professor: 'Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?'
Student: 'What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?'
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an 'A', as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: 'Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an 'A', although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.'
http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/09/wisdom-teeth-concept.html
Monday, September 22, 2008
God's wife
A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.
A lady approached the young boy and said, 'My God, you're in such deep thought staring in that window!'
'I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,' was the boy's reply.
The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.
She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.
By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.
She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, 'No doubt, you will be more comfortable now.'
As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her, 'Are you God's wife?'
Speech on Kashmir Issue at UN by an INDIAN Representative
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.
A representative from India began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.
When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath.'
He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.'
The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren't there then.'
The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.'
And they say Kashmir belongs to them………………………………………..
http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/09/zero-mania-in-human-beings.html
Friday, September 19, 2008
10 words
10 Words that makes us more Beautiful/ Handsome
The Most Selfish " 1 " letter word.
The Most Satisfying " 2 " letter words.
" We " ---> Use It..
The Most Poisonous " 3 " letter word.
" Ego" ---> Kill It..
The Most Used " 4 " letter word.
" LOVE " --> Value It.
The Pleasing " 5 " letter words.
" SMILE " -->Keep It.
The Fastest Spreading " 6 " letter word.
" RUMOUR " --> Ignore it..
The Hardest working " 7 " Letter Word.
"SUCCESS " --> Achieve it..
The Most enviable " 8 " letter word.
" JEALOUSY " --> distance It..
The Most Powerful " 9 " word letter word.
" KNOWLEDGE " --> Acquire It.
The Most essential " 10 " letter word
" CONFIDENCE " -- > "Trust It.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
IT Jokes
* Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
* Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
* Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
* Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
* Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources.
* Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
* Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
* Tester is a person who always tells that this is not the right baby.
http://chindianquotes.blogspot.com/2008/09/zero-mania-in-human-beings.html