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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

cities in India

How to identify cities in India ?


Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and They start arguing about who's right.
You are in Kolkata
Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That's Mumbai
Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace.The first two get together & beat him up.
That's Delhi
Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along And quietly opens a chai-stall
That's Ahmedabad.
Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software Program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program.
That's Bengaluru (Bangalore)
Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along And quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace
Comes in.
That's Chennai.
Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer. All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home being friends.
You are in Goa
Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their Friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are in Hyderabad.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Do you have time to Read?


An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof
: So you believe in God?
Student:
Absolutely, sir.

Prof:
Is God good?

Student:
Sure.

Prof:
Is God all-powerful?
Student:
Yes.

Prof:
My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
Student is silent.

Prof:
You can't answer, can you?
Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?
Student:
Yes..

Prof:
Is Satan good?
Student:
No.

Prof:
Where does Satan come from?
Student:
From...God...

Prof:
That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student:
Yes.

Prof:
Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student:
Yes.

Prof:
So who created evil?
Student does not answer.

Prof:
Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student:
Yes, sir.

Prof:
So, who created them?
Student has no answer.

Prof:
Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student:
No, sir.

Prof:
Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student:
No, sir.

Prof:
Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student:
No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof:
Yet you still believe in Him?
Student:
Yes.

Prof:
According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student:
Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof:
Yes Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Now the student said
can I ask something to you Professor.

Student:
Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof:
Yes.

Student
: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof:
Yes.

Student:
No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student:
Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student:
What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof:
Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student:
You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof:
So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student:
Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof:
Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student:
Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof:
If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.


Student:
Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student:
Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student:
Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student:
Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)


Prof:
I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student:
That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive. .


WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS?



http://chindianjokes.blogspot.com/2007/10/secret-of-my-fitness.html

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